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Joke of the Day

"""Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."" Cashier: ""Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"" Customer: ""Nah...she's purdy good lookin'..."""

"Did you know there's a new sub for disputes? r/gument I'll show meself out."

"sometimes i visit websites that have videos of people making love"

"What time is it when you have to go to the dentist ? Tooth Hurty !"

"Mother: Fred why did you put a slug in your grandma's bed? Fred: Because I couldn't find a snake."

"I'm surprised carving faces into vegetables after pulling out their innards isn't incorporated into more American Holidays."

"[Long] longest joke in the world My dick Didn't see that coming."

"[stop light] It will turn green in 5 4 3 2 1.. And Now It Will Turn Greeeeeeeen *turns green* Ah yes nailed it."

"Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. -Tim Vine"

"Hey England, Happy Fourh of July!!! Britain: ""What happened to the T?"" America: ""We threw it in the Harbor!"""