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Joke of the Day

"When is the NFL going to start drafting players with mental handicaps? Have you ever seen a video of them getting the ball and not scoring a touchdown?"

"If you hate us so much, stop using our Internet"

"Friend: *singing along* But I'm a creep. I'm a widow. Me: Weirdo. Friend: Sorry, I'll stop. Me: No, he says...yeah okay, thanks."

"I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but fell asleep. Edit: WOW my top post is now a bestiality joke. Thanks guys :)"

"What is the only result for Ear-rape? Hearing AIDS."

"Alcohol doesn't cause hangovers....waking up does."

"What do you call a 5 year-old with no friends? [offensive] A sandy hook survivor."

"How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist!"

"Let's spare a thought for the Malaysian business man on flight MH370..... who told his wife that he was going to China for a meeting and now can't leave his girlfriend's apartment."

"I was just looking in the mirror this morning, thinking about who I was. I suppose you could say I was reflecting."