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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard that duct tape can be used as an aphrodisiac? It turns ""NO! NO! NO!"" into ""MMM! MMM! MMM!"""

"I have Restless Life Syndrome."

"Why can't steven hawking perform comedy? He can't do stand up"

"I'm going to buy a boomerang now... You need friends to play Frisbee."

"""Hello! You have a nice dog. Opiates are bad. Beautiful day today. My parents talk to pixies. Bye!"" - Polite home-schooled kid I met today."

"A Rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar... The bartender said ""You three get the hell out of my bar! I don't want to be part of a joke."""

"Q: Why couldn't the cat speak? A: The dog taped his mouth."

"What's a shopaholic's favourite boy band? NSYNC"

"The inventor of the Oxford Comma has died. Tributes have been lead by JK Rowling, his wife and the Queen of England."

"It's cute how my family thinks I'm playing with fire and I'm just trying to cook them breakfast"