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Joke of the Day

"According to the white girl weather report, today will be ""suuuuper duper sunny"" with a high of ""ughhhh"" and a low of ""fuh-reezing!"""

"Dark humour is like food. Not everyone gets it"

"Married for money... Jack: It's just too hot to wear clothes today, but what would the neighbors think if I mowed the lawn naked? Wife: That I married you for your money!"

"I want to write a mystery novel. Or Do I ?"

"sir this ouija board is broken, it keeps spellin stuff like 'wah hoo!' and 'lets a-go!' ""hmm it looks like youve bought a luigi board, pal"""

"What's worse than giving Willie Nelson a blow job? Finding out it's not Willie Nelson"

"""Look at me! I'm a ninja!"" - 4yo not getting the whole ninja concept yet."

"I'd rather watch a four hour montage of old Russian men eating soup than have a toddler throw a tantrum in a Target."

"""No no no!"" said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. ""I cannot see you today!"" ""That's fine"" said the salesman ""I'm selling spectacles."""

"Did you mean pacific or specific? Cuz seriously, one is an ocean."