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Joke of the Day

"One fist-bump from a cool black dude is worth 5 years of my parents loving me."

"To level the playing field, online dating sites should require using the picture in your driver's license."

"Why are men are like public toilets? The good ones are taken, the rest are full of shit."

"If you've ever accidentally stepped on a cat's tail, you've seen my wife's sex face."

"Hitler wasn't that bad of a guy He was only doing what he thought was reich."

"I'm rubber. You're glue. He's glitter. She's decoupage. Welcome to our crafting gang."

"How fast can you convince an Italian guy to perform cunnilingus? Licka-de-split."

"Why can you never compromise with a veggie burger? Because they'll never meat in the middle."

"When people put pics of their vacation on FB I write: I saw fire trucks outside your house but I'm sure you already know, have a great time!"

"I'm no cactus expert. But, I know a prick when I see one."