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Joke of the Day
"Why were all of the other fish calling the shark gay? He swallowed all of the seamen."
Next Joke
"I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. All he does is stand there applauding and saying he loves how smooth it is."
"What do you with a crazy girl knocking on your door? You don't let her out."
"My black friend asked me if there's a colored printer in the library. I said ""Shit man, it's 2015 you can use whatever printer you want!"""
"I wanted to turn my life around so I tried to stop memeing all the time... ...It made my life memeingless"
"Got my dad today nope nevermind, he ran away again"
"If the rapper Biz Markie had a female dog, he could name her... ...Miz Barkie I'll stop"
"Vegans have a special acronym for 'Today I Fucked Up' TOFU"
"[A-ha rehearsal] ""Here's the lyric: Take On Me."" ""What about Take Me On?"" [4 hrs of arguing later] ""Ok we'll say both. Now let's get perms."""
"How to cure affluenza? Introduce him to Warhammer."