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Joke of the Day

"The waiter came up to my table and said, ""Can I take your order?"" I said, ""Sure."" He said, ""Thanks, I'm just really hungry."""

"Difference between a gay guy and a microwave? A microwave won't brown your meat."

"I wish my ex girlfriend was a Ninja, this way I'd never see her"

"Why didn't the Siamese chicken cross the road? he was two chickens"

"What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? ""Make me one with everything."""

"Wind Farms..... I'm a big fan!"

"What time is it in New York City? 5 past Lundqvist"

"My co-worker said he's bleeding out of his ear. ""That time of the month?"" I replied. He's not amused."

"BREAKING: Olympic athlete stripped of medal after urine sample shows traces of rubber, which is a band substance"

"year 39, month 3: woke up a sentient tangle of meat and calcium again"