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Joke of the Day

"The waiter came up to my table and said, ""Can I take your order?"" I said, ""Sure."" He said, ""Thanks, I'm just really hungry."""

"Why did Trump run in Us instead of Canada? Because He's worried that he would win with a minority government."

"You know you're tired when you kneel on the ground pick something up and then have to decide if it's easier to get up or just live there now"

"Resumes are the most popular form of historical fiction."

"My friend had his assignment on plagiarism stolen so he copied mine. He then proceeded to take a course on Nihilism but it ended up not having a meaningful impact on his transcript."

"What's the Biggest Jobs Killer in the United States? Pancreatic cancer."

"What happened when the cheese factory exploded? Debrie everywhere."

"What's the darkest joke you know? No limits who can disgust me the most? Best part of fucking 21 year olds? Theres 20 of them"

"Our 2-year-old is entertaining everyone at the restaurant by screeching like a seagull every fifteen seconds."

"My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house.... I said Decepticons... She laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed I shot the toaster we all had a good time."