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Joke of the Day

"""That's what she said"" jokes will always be funny, but... I've only heard a couple of attempts at ""That's what he said"" jokes. Let's see what you got."

"What is common between a priest and acne? Both start cumming on your face when you turn 13."

"A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""I'll serve You, but don't start anything."""

"What file turns a 1mm hole into a 10mm hole? A paedophile."

"I was relieved when the cop gave me a ticket for driving without headlights. I thought I was going blind."

"Why do hamburgers act brilliantly on stage? They give meaty performances - especially if they are in their prime!"

"Donald Trump has cancelled a planned trip to Israel. When asked why, Trump said, ""They already have a wall and fear of Muslims. My work there is done."""

"I cheated on my girlfriend once We were playing monopoly and while she wasn't looking I took some of her money. Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister."

"Thinking that you're on speaking terms with God is like finding out you've been playing both parts in an episode of ""Catfish"""

"A bought my girlfriend bondage supplies as a gag gift She was at a loss for words"