222631

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between the Titanic and Kim Kardashian? The number of people who rode the Titanic is known."

"Guy getting on elevator in my office building.."" Going Down?"" Me: ""No, but I've got time for a hug"""

"My 8 year old sister's joke: There were 12 fish in a pond. One of the dies. Why did the water level in the pond rise? -Because the other fish were crying. Edit: *One of them dies."

"GOOD COP: Crazy girlfriend? I know how THAT is BAD COP: He's trying to get on your side so you confess GOOD COP: Jesus Christ, Frank"

"Cop: Tell me again why you pulled out scissors and gave her bangs. Me: She was flirting with a hot dad that I had my eye on."

"What do you call a sad suicidal bird? A Robin Williams."

"Dick::Ebola Your dick is like ebola, you dont have it and no one wants it"

"Not Joking, Will I get in trouble if I tell a dirty joke that involves Obama, Bush and Pelosi? (its very dirty)"

"Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed... First favourite is cake."

"I like to ask girls if they wanna take a shower with me then hand them a ski mask and drive to Lowe's."