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Joke of the Day

"Last month I decided to invest in a gym membership. Since then I have lost... ...about $39.99 in cash."

"How does Donald Trump tie his shoes? In little knotsies."

"A girl phoned me the other day and said ""Come on over, there's nobody home."" I went over. Nobody was home."

"I spilled spot-remover on my dog... ...and now he's gone. :("

"Why did the goal post get angry ? Because the bar was rattled !"

"Did you hear about the blind man who took a hammer and saw?"

"What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A woman that won't do what she's told."

"What's Donald Trumps favourite album? The Wall."

"My weed stash is like the Koran... If you burn that shit, you'll get stoned."

"While Ajax sales have been going down... It's still stronger than Greece"