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Joke of the Day

"Oh, Its October Guess we should wake up that guy from green day then"

"All my CDs are in my ex's car. I'd get them, but I don't want to face her. Plus I don't have the equipment for diving to the bottom of the river."

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I don't know. I don't have 2020 Vision."

"I would imagine that Super Bowl 50 will be one L of a game. If you're British."

"TIL chimneys can be used as conjunctions They may introduce a clause"

"A paraplegic went down a runway... She made for a great roll-model."

"I hope I'm never behind Johnny Depp going through airport security. Watching him take off all those accessories would be sad."

"My Friendster account was hacked. Now I'm being extorted for all those testimonials I wrote. Said no one ever."

"Tried using a time machine to go back to my wedding day & talk some sense into a much younger me, but I got the date wrong."

"I wanted to get a tan... So I bought a calculator."