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Joke of the Day

"I stand in the tampon aisle and when a woman reaches for a box, I snicker and say ""you're gross""."

"Blanket on: too hot, Blanket off: too cold, 1 leg out: perfect, until the demon from Paranormal Activity grabs it & drags you down the hall."

"Ever wonder if you killed that one really important brain cell?"

"Q: What do outlaws eat with their milk? A: Crookies."

"Are your pants from outer space or is your butt just out of this world?"

"[bill gates house] Bill: What's on at the cinema? Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see."

"If they ever start charging for air... I'll buy a bag of chips, at least it will be a package deal."

"Descriptivism is the right way of managing the English language, irregardless of what you think."

"What's the number ten's favorite Spanish phrase? Diez mio!"

"As a kid, I used to think $5,000 was a lot of money. But now that I'm an adult, I think it's a tremendous amount of money."