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Joke of the Day

"A Higgs boson walks into a church... The priest says, ""We don't allow Higgs bosons in here."" The Higgs boson replies, ""But without me, how can you have mass?"""

"My SO thinks this is a very funny joke... is it? Q: Where do ballerinas go to get their torrents? A: The Pirouette Bay"

"What do you do when you see a spaceman? You park in it, man."

"The Filipino diving team."

"I decided for dinner to make the Duck confit As I was in a really fowl mood."

"Have I told ya my pizza joke? Augh nvm, its probably too cheesy"

"What do You Call Someone Who Self Harms In The Antarctica? An eskemo....."

"George W Bush kept us safe just like how abstinence education kept Bristol Palin unpregnant."

"My wife hates it when I say ""You are just like your mother!"" Actually, she hates it when I say *anything* during sex."

"First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year."