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Joke of the Day

"A kid has a nightmare amd runs to his mom's room ""Moom I just wet the bed!"" he cried. ""...so did I!"" she exclaimed, quickly shutting her sock drawer."

"Today I saw ""Jesus doesn't care about your grades"" written on the sidewalk in chalk and all I could think was ""Thank god, he'd be pissed"""

"Of course women are funny. Why else would there be so many jokes about them."

"A witticism of timely and international-political import. Knock Knock. Who's there? Crimea Crimea Who? Crimea River instantrimshot.com"

"BestBuy guy: ""Do you have a 'first-generation' iPod?"" Me: ""I guess so. It came on a boat from China. It doesn't have an accent or anything."""

"Mum why am i getting my Christmas present in August? Because its cheaper than chemo."

"If my mobile provider started charging 3 times as much as their nearest competitor but there was no voicemail, I'd still stay with them."

"Husband: Quick. What's this song? Me: Awful."

"The guy who fell off the ferris wheel is at the hospital.. He's in fair condition."

"Saw an attractive Muslim girl the other day.... ""Was she sunni?"" ""Nah, shi-ite"""