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Joke of the Day

"There is only one true way to make your pancakes more metal Start referring to maple syrup as tree blood."

"When parents say to kids ""go to ur room & think about what you've done"" it's really good practice for what you'll do every night as an adult"

"Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes? She was running out of things to read."

"Saying Java is good because it works on Windows, Linux and Mac OS is like saying... Anal sex is good because it works on men, women, and animals."

"What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? ....Dam."

"A man came to my door and asked if I would make a donation to the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water."

"Obstetrician who has taken up magic as a hobby: and what have we here? *pulls out baby after baby after baby after baby after baby..."

"I just learned you need five sheep to make a sweater. I didn't know they knew how to knit."

"The only day of the year that gives an order March 4th Sorry this was one of my dear departed mother's favorite annual jokes. Just had to share the love!"

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way."