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Joke of the Day

"Definition of a really good friend. What's the difference between a good friend and a really good friend? A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!"

"Q: What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor? A: Make me one with everything."

"A rapist a gangster and a murderer are in the same car... Who is driving the car? A police officer!"

"Wife: DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS? Husband: ? *Wife storms out room* Husband: Happy Valsenbirthery?!"

"I saw a charity appeal in the newspaper the other day, and it read ""Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water"". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move."

"Kid's are afraid to take this nap. Kidnap."

"Top prank: when your friend falls asleep, place his hand in a bowl of warm water so he wakes up with one regular hand & one wrinkly one."

"What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride."

"I just switched my phone to airplane mode and a small child appeared and started kicking me in the back."

"So a foreign exchange student asks me: ""Is the word ""ee-ther"" or ""eye-ther?"" I told them it was either."