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Joke of the Day

"Why is santa so jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live. Why am I so jolly? I stole his list."

"What do you call a computer smoking weed ? High tech."

"An Apple store near where I live got robbed $25k worth of merchandise was stolen. The police said that they will get both computers back."

"GIRL NEARBY: I'm breaking up with you, Kevin. You don't talk about Pokemon enough. [I sit up straight and frantically try smoothing my hair]"

"If you missed any of the most recent presidential debate, you can catch one side of it on any given Facebook friend's page."

"I interned at the Dow Jones News Fund. It had its ups and downs."

"There's a new perfume being marketed to the super rich that contains a singular ingredient... ...it's called One Pure Scent."

"Cease & desist to all of Reddit I've trademarked PLAGIARISM and seek to protect my trademark from infringement."

"My hair is 100% organic, but it has been tested on animals. Portions may have been used to drape over cats' heads to make little wigs."

"What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle? The weekend!"