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Joke of the Day

"I miss the 1980s when cell phones were big enough to cover your face if you saw someone you knew walking toward you."

"I'm stuck somewhere between playing my cards right & not playing with a full deck."

"A giraffe walks into a bar and happily announces, ""A round of drinks for everybody!"" ... ""The highballs are on me!"""

"How does a mathematician cure constipation? How does a mathematician cure her constipation? She works it out with a pencil."

"I've reached the point of laziness where even laying around has become too much for me to handle."

"What did the confused bee say ? To bee or not to bee !"

"*6 hours of Russian roulette* Me: ""I think I forgot to load a bullet in this gun."""

"[Reality TV] HOST: Welcome to America's Next Top Psychic! Please, try not to-- *One contestant stands up*: I WON! H: --ruin it."

"A guy was stealing Morton and Everstart. He punched the owner when confronted... He was charged with assault and battery."

"What do you call a daredevil Gigolo with dwarfism? A Stunted Stunt Stunter."