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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between beer nut and deer nuts? Beer nuts will cost you about $1.25. Deer nuts are under a buck."

"My 8 yr old son just told me Nutella is a delicious mix of nuts and umbrellas. He's ready for Twitter."

"Remember ladies. It goes from Twitter to Kik to Voxer to cell phone number to address to being dismembered in a motel bathtub."

"*young woman walks by Wife: Wow, she looks really good, don't you think? Me: NO WAY, I'M NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THAT"

"If you've never had a 4 hour conversation about which cartoon character gives the best blowjobs, then I question your commitment to tequila."

"Where am I? I don't know where I am, but there's a huge nuke in front of me, obviously supposed to be secret. I'm terrified. I ran."

"What's the stupidest animal you can find in a jungle? A polar bear."

"What do Gingers and Extinct Dinosaurs have in common? Not enough"""

"Why was the new Mexican sad? He was out of meth. Why was the old Mexican sad? All his friends are dead."

"What do Donald Trump and Mondays have in common Nobody likes them."