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Joke of the Day

"Women are like Alarm Clocks. It's such a relief when they finally shut the hell up."

"My phone got arrested today... It was charged with battery."

"Organising an event for people who can't ejaculate Let me know if you can't come"

"What did Dr Frankenstein get when he put his goldfish's brain in the body of his dog? I don't know but it is great at chasing submarines."

"Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?"

"How does an Irishman's future look like? Very blight."

"I spilled coffee on my laptop. now it won't go into sleep mode.."

"Have you ever been to a Native American orgy? It's fucking intense man!"

"Movies you wish Tom Cruise would star in: Remission Impossible"

"Why did the priest smoke weed in the cemetery? He wanted to keep his spirits high."