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Joke of the Day

"My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school. She's a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest."

"Irish chili How many beans do you put in Irish chili? Two hundred and thirty-nine. Why? Because one more would be two-farty."

"User interface? I hardly even know her!"

"whatd the princess do after she finished a do-it-yourself abortion royal flush"

"I need some Asian jokes As an Asian American I have never had the satisfaction of ever hearing an Asian joke that was anything but mediocre. I JUST WANNA BE OFFENDED GOD DAMN IT!"

"While they're a lot of fun on Halloween, did you know most jack-o'-lanterns end up at the pound? Please. Next year, carve a puppy."

"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish, and he'll eat for the rest of his life."

"If you can read this please let me know because, it means I blocked the wrong person. I'm still getting used to this Stupid timeline!"

"Definition of laziness : It's a talent of taking rest before you get tired..........coz prevention is better than cure"

"How can you tell if your wife is dead? If the sex stays the same but the dishes pile up."