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Joke of the Day
"jokes about depression used to be funny.... now they're just sad."
Next Joke
"What do you call it when a pickle masturbates? Gherkin off"
"My parents wanted to name me Odysseus because I, too, broke through the Trojan wall."
"What is the difference between a whore and a bitch? A whore will have sex with anybody, a bitch will have sex with anybody except you."
"I never said that I hated you! All I said is that I hope you have your period when the next Sharknado comes around."
"[undercover FBI agent who's had me under surveillance for weeks decides to blow his cover] do you ever stop eating?"
"Baby, I hope you are an ISO file cuz I wanna mount you."
"Why do prison guards use Proactive all the time? So they can prevent breakouts."
"Whats Wolverine's favorite genre of music? Metal."
"My kids have enough energy to run 10,000 laps around the house but get tired walking around the block. I call bullshit."