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Joke of the Day
"When do elephants have eight feet? When there are two of them."
Next Joke
"If Mitt Romney was president, we'd blame everything on him. ""Damn why is it so cold outside? It wasn't this cold when Obama was president."""
"After an argument with my boss, I decided to leave my job at the helium factory. I don't like to be spoken to in that tone of voice."
"At my high school reunion while everyone was bragging I said,""I'm finally allowed in public without an armed chaperone."""
"What is a necrophiliac's safe word? I'm alive."
"They should make halloween albums like they do for Christmas. I'd love to hear a Michael Buble version of Monster Mash."
"HR said it's not necessary but I like my sickness to be taken seriously by having my mom send in an email validating my degree of sickness"
"Those signs that say ""Slow children playing"" When they grow up become ""Slow men working"""
"If a female fighter pilot shoots down a lot of enemy airplanes, she might plausibly be called a heroine. But if she shoots up a lot of heroin, she will probably not be called an enemy airplane."
"I bet we'd have to say 'The steaks are pretty high' if a herd of cows ever got into a field of marijuana."