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Joke of the Day
"I'll apologize for last night right after you tell me which parts you still remember."
Next Joke
"That awkward moment when someone you like talks to you and all you can do is smile like an idiot."
"And then God said, ""Let there be Black Friday."" and he saw that it was a terrible idea but it was too late cuz people were already in line."
"Sometimes I lie in bed at night, looking up at the stars and think Where the hell did the ceiling go?"
"A man purchases a new dress for his wife... ...he goes home as fast as possible so he can give it to her before fashions change."
"I can't believe how different life was before *googles* Al Gore invented the Internet"
"Why did Adele cross the road? To get to the other side!!!!!! Like the song, ""hello from the other side"""
"My chem teacher was talking about salt the other day and I was bored as fuck... I was about to make a Sodium pun but Na"
"Don't get me wrong I'm impressed by the Olympics but what really impresses me is people who sleep with their cell phones in other rooms."
"Why do peasants watch the Weather Channel? To get the serf report"