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Joke of the Day

"I'll apologize for last night right after you tell me which parts you still remember."

"Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets ? To run his hands through his hair."

"Why does it have to be a white Christmas? #BlackChristmasMatters"

"The true test of any loving relationship is having two phones and only one functioning charger."

"I didnt know how to tell this guy at Home Depot his fly was down... and he didnt know how to say thanks when I tried to help him zip it up."

"How do you turn a robot on? You push his power button."

"What do you call a person of mixed heritage from eastern Turkey/northern Iraq, and from Wisconsin? A Cheese Kurd."

"Last time I used my phone was to call someone upstairs in my house b/c getting up is hard & I'm not trying to win the Olympics."

"What do floppy disks and Jesus have in common? They both had to die to become the icon of saving."

"Optimist: A college student who opens his wallet and expects to find money."