216906

Joke of the Day

"My buddy asked me what self explanatory meant... I didn't know what to say."

"Those ""You Are Here"" maps at bus stops are very simple in Detroit. They all just say ""Fucked."""

"If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you ..I'd start thinking about you."

"why did the hipster burn his tounge? because he ate the pizza before it was cool."

"I walked into my bosses office and yelled, ""Three to five cellular layers of skin."" ""What?"" he laughed. ""I'm just saying what's on everyone's lips."""

"TIL the French flag is traditionally made with Velcro So they could remove the red and blue bits in times of war"

"I just referred to tongs as 'food tweezers' in case you want to be in awe of my command of the English language."

"Time zones are amazing, it's a different time all around the world. For example, in some parts of the U.S. it's still 1950."

"What happens if you pass gas in church? You have to sit in your own pew."

"Whats the difference between a Jewish and a Black person? About $100,000"