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Joke of the Day

"I would tell a chemistry joke.. But all the good ones Argon"

"How many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Bush did it."

"I'm giving up my new year's resolution for lent"

"Son: What is an autobiography? Father: Er the story of an automobile."

"Pete Rose had a 90 second ovation at the all star game. It brought a tear to his eye.... Because he took the over."

"A ponytail so tight I look 5 years younger and everyone thinks I've been smiling all day."

"Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: ""Sir I have two openings for you...!"" I replied : Yes. I know .There was a long silence and then she hung up."

"My girlfriend isn't a fan of Starwars, says I would have to force her to go. ""*ss****SSkkkk****rrowwmm****mzzrreowwwowwww***."""

"What do you call a male cow masturbating? Beef Jerky"

"So, a girl was giving me a handjob... and I told her to stop because she was rubbing me the wrong way."