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Joke of the Day

"If Patrick Bateman from American Psycho had a butler, what would the butler call him? ""Master Bateman."""

"What does apathy sound like? I'm Ellen Pao, AMA"

"Why do politians hate the term ""mudslinging""? They don't want to get their hands dirty."

"Did you hear? If the democratic candidate wins the white house... the president will be taking a pay cut. It works out to be about 22%."

"Where does a rapists train stop? Anal deva-station"

"You sneezed 20 times in a row, I think your brain wants out"

"I only put one eye on my snowman. That way, if it ever comes to life, the lack of depth perception will give me a tactical advantage."

"Therapist: U need some tools to cope with ur anger Me: Like a sledgehammer? T: No. More like breathing- M: Fire? Can u make me breathe fire?"

"JOB OPENING: Entry-level for recent college grads. Minimum 87 years of experience required."

"Reports are coming in of an elephant doing a ton in the highway. Police ask motorists to drive carefully and to yield right of way."