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Joke of the Day

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper."

"What do Spider-Man and Windows 98 have in common? They're always rebooting."

"When two girls hate each other, they say ""we should DEFINITELY hang out"" and then take turns shouting ""definitely!"" until one of them dies."

"What did Captain Hook say to Peter Pan? Fuck Niggers !! Lol !!"

"Hamster PickUp Line? If I was a Hamster, and I met a female hamster I liked...id say ""Aye Girl, You From Amsterdam? Cause Hamster Damn!"""

"You are the reason Santa even has a naughty list."

"That awkward moment the drug dealer charges you extra for the briefcase."

"What do you call a mini-golf club made of wasp testicles that's covered in Reese's Pieces? A peanut butter bee-nut putter."

"Spiders have it about right. If he doesn't bring her a snack when he courts her it's curtains.."

"WIFE: The police are at the front door ME: *hiding a bag of donuts* Do they look mad?"