215685

Joke of the Day

"Tinfoil: Viserys Targaryen is a hipster. He wore a crown before it was cool."

"Home Depot is having their ""ultimate tool event"" in case anyone wants to buy my cousin Tyler."

"What's another name for a clever duck ? A wise quacker !"

"What does the Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common? They both circle Uranus searching for Klingon's"

"A baby seal walks into a club"

"I've finally figured out why I can't lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in shower that runs down my body says, ""4 extra volume & body"

"[lumberjack interview] BOSS: I'm gonna ""axe"" you a few questions. Haha do you get it? ME: Yeah I ""saw"" that coming BOSS: Ooo welcome aboard!"

"When someone tells me they're a bodybuilder, I always ask ""Not the Dr. Frankenstein kind, right?"" because you can never be too careful."

"I crack my knuckles, turn to the cops and say ""I got this"" as I stroll toward the bank robbers and get shot in the face"

"The main reason I got married is that I really hate driving.."