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Joke of the Day

"Water fountains are great for when I want to know what your building tastes like."

"First, there was planking, then owling and milking, now there's Harlem Shaking. If the next trend could be thinking, that would be great."

"Her: How do you get girls? Me: I'm smart and funny. Her: That works? Me: No I'm terribly alone, I was just saying."

"Sex is a misdemeanor.. De more I miss, de meanor I get."

"Is the officer from the McKinney police video... Applying for the role of Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3? That recovery off the tuck and roll was impeccable."

"Toast I'd like to propose a toast, but I'm all out of bread."

"Management tip - only hire bald guys. They don't have anything going on besides work."

"I went out dressed as a chicken last night. and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken."

"So Chris Brown and Rihanna are now Engaged and they have a song together called ""Ain't nobody's business."" Well, I just wrote my own song called, ""Ain't Nobody Cares!"""

"How did the hour and minute hands of the clock get cancer? Second hand smoking! My own joke that I've been meaning to put up for a while. Time to see how it goes haha."