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Joke of the Day

"Some guy keeps saying he's going to post a pic of his girlfriend in his next submission to r/Femdom but never delivers OP is a flagellate"

"What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out"

"If I'm ever arrested, I would use my one phone call for pizza."

"I'm a man of my word... and that word is ""unreliable"""

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but getting them in there is a bitch!"

"My dad's bread factory burnt down Now his business is toast"

"Is bb-8 hungry? No, BB-8."

"IMAGINE the trash talk that goes on between Oxford & Cambridge ""I say. I heard your mum once went to Wolverhampton"" ""You take that BACK SIR"""

"Teacher: Can you count to 10? Fred: Yes teacher-one two three four five six seven eight nine ten. Teacher: Now go on from there. Fred: Jack Queen King."

"strange love! Muhammad Ali said that he loved human beings but every time he beat the shit out of every human in the ring. I guess love finds many ways to express itself."