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Joke of the Day

"date: [breaks 3 minute silence] ""you dont have to use the chopsticks just to impress me"" me: [trying to pick up my beer] ""i can do it"""

Next Joke
 
"(DARK HUMOR) Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands."
"A lady came to my door the other day, asking for donations to my local sperm bank.. I gave her a right mouthful."
"I lost 100 pounds with this one weird trick! Exercise"
"Oh your boyfriend proposed? Well I just realized my new dress has pockets, so I think it's obvious who's having a better day."
"What's an epileptic's least favorite pizza place? Little Seizures."
"The cop jokes on this sub are getting out of hand All the black jokes keep getting shot down."
"My dad told me that the future was in my hands Didn't know that the future was 9 inches long"
"Why Didn't Batman Go To Church? Because of Christian Bail"
"Irony is when you see someone circle around the parking lot 5 times to get the spot closest to the gym"