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Joke of the Day

"date: [breaks 3 minute silence] ""you dont have to use the chopsticks just to impress me"" me: [trying to pick up my beer] ""i can do it"""

"Lent is a holiday invented by the banks to sell more loans"

"My friend just found out that he is both gay and dyslexic. He is still in Daniel."

"I bumped into my rival jousting opponent. We exchanged lances."

"Where do taxi drivers with bad skin go for treatment? The Taxi Dermist."

"A Haiku A problem that I Have with haikus is that I Always run out of"

"What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We're closed"

"What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist? Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned."

"Just itched my crotch while trying to swat a fly and four people told me I was a good dancer."

"I told Jim he is upside-down His nose runs and his feet smell."