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Joke of the Day

"Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies? Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup? ."

"Did you hear about the guy who ate his trousers? He pooped his pants!"

"These poker chips must be stale, they taste horrible."

"A girlfriend and boyfriend are talking... The girl says, ""hey John, how do you spell 'pedophilia?'"" He responds, ""gosh honey, why do you need to know? That's an awfully big word for an 8 year old."""

"Is she hot?- A guy's reply to any story that starts with ""This girl I know.."""

"Did you guys hear that Ellen Degeneres died? Yeah, they found her face down in Ricki Lake."

"What do you call an Extraterrestrial from Melbourne? An Australien."

"I'm not racist but... Your hair looks gorgeous. ""How is that racist?"" I said I wasn't racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican."

"What's the worst part about swim-up bars? The watery stools"

"""Don't tell me how to raise my cat!,"" I yell at my 7 y/o daughter who's chastising me for baby birding a tuna sandwich into my cat's mouth"