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Joke of the Day

"50-cent's birthday was last week, so I made him a sweater... ...When i gave it to him he said, ""Gee. You Knit?"""

"Bartender, I'd like you to bring that brunette at the end of the bar a slice of your finest ham."

"So a frog parked his car in a ""no parking"" zone..... His ride got toad away."

"Romantic Remembrance by Valentine Card"

"Ever since I've been on crutches I've been extremely depressed... I mean I just can't stand myself."

"Took my girlfriend to the ice cream factory and she fell into the gelato machine She's a sore bae now."

"Subway only exists because we're all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. ""Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here's $8."""

"The total age of the women I've slept with this year is 132, which would be so much more impressive if it was more than two women."

"Did you hear about the plane that flew over the Java Sea? it crashed."

"Just played the new Hillary Presidency Simulator I don't know why it's called Fallout 4 though."