214249

Joke of the Day

"Johnny Depp to play Tim Burton in the director's self-made biopic It will be the first ever interpersonal autobiography"

"The grown up version of Tetris is loading a full dishwasher."

"Q: What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything. A: Three Men And A Baby"

"What do you call research to implicate dictators of other countries for murders by biological warfare? ...Foreign sick science."

"How come reddit posters have no babies? Because OP never delivers."

"Did you hear about the hipster with heatstroke? He got it before it was cool."

"Have you seen that movie Constipated? It hasn't come out yet."

"Why did Mrs. Piggy's relationship fail? She couldn't stand making Kermitments"

"How do you know you've been burgled by asians? You come home to find your math homework was done, your computer was upgraded, and they're still trying to back down the driveway."

"I was asked if I preferred legs or breasts... I said a shaved vagina is better, But apparently that wasn't really appropriate in KFC."