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Joke of the Day

"Why did the guitar player get arrested He was fingering a minor"

"A dolphin walks into a bar. Impossible, dolphins don't have legs."

"Just remember, you can't please everyone. So just focus on what's important, pleasing me."

"Hey, little bird! Maybe you wouldn't have to move your head around so much looking for threats if you didn't make so much god damn noise!"

"As a German I have concerns about the European soccer championship... Last time it didn't end well when we sent a couple boys to France to defeat all of Europe."

"-That toaster oven looks worn out. Why are you still using it? -Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times."

"I would never expect to get a penny from a dollar machine. It just doesn't make cents."

"Q: How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one more guys I promise."

"What does a gay cow eat? Haaaay!"

"I watched Mad Max and now I'm riding my dog around my living room using two bananas as guns"