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Joke of the Day
"""My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects..."""
Next Joke
"Why do they evacuate women and children first? You can't fix shit with all that screaming and crying. (**Yes, you can evacuate people.** Check #2 here: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/evacuate)"
"Why did Donald Trump cross the road? To grab some pussy."
"Cute guy: Is this seat taken? Me: (ok, play it cool) No. *smiles* Him: *takes chair away*"
"My family tells me that I talk in my sleep almost every night.. But they don't say anything like that to me at work."
"World's shortest resign letter. Dear Sir, Waak! thuu. Thank You."
"What do you call a supernatural goose riding a bike seeking vengeance? Goose Rider"
"how do you know if an asian man robbed your house your homeworks done, your computers upgraded, and 3 hours later hes still trying to back out the driveway."
"Have you tried Gatorade's newest sports drink, F5? It's very refreshing"
"(guy glaring at me because he wants to use the stationary bike) *adds 72 hours to cardio workout*"