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Joke of the Day

"What's Sisyphus' least favourite type of music? Rock and Roll."

"What sound does a black widow make? My husband be dead"

"Last night,my friend changed all my contacts in my phone.I've been texted by Batman Donatello,Hermione Granger.I have no idea who they are."

"How do you kill a guy with a coconut allergy? You put a bounty on his head."

"A blonde women just found out some frightening statistics... She was just informed that over 90% of car accidents happen within 10 miles of the persons house. So she moved."

"The blonde tip-toed near the medicine cabinet so that she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills. This is not a joke, ambien serious!"

"My dad got carpal tunnel syndrome from being on a keyboard in an office all day. It got so bad his boss made him get rid of the piano."

"I'm available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts."

"Nothing makes me turn off my car and start leisurely tweeting faster than someone honking at me to pull out of a parking space."

"I once met an Italian fellow with feet made entirely out of rubber. His name was Roberto."