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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? Names! -Bo Burnham"

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"I once dumped a cross-eyed chick Thought she was seeing someone else."
"If sex is said to be the best exercise than why are there no fitness clubs for that. Now there's idea. . ."
"I Told my wife I lost 10 pounds in a hour The She said ""Sweety, we call them Dollars here"""
"I put the SEXY in Dyslexic. Deal with ti"
"Don't bother putting your hand over my mouth to shut me up, I will lick you."
"My grandfather always said: ""Don't look after your money, look after your health"" Once I was looking after my health and someone stole my money. It was my grandfather."
"How do you end beef with someone? With the assistance of your friend, use a machete to chop the cow into pieces."
"Woke up to find a cruise ship parked right outside my hotel window. well if you think this is going to make me put on clothes you're wrong."
"I fucked myself last night. I wanted to get first-hand experience."