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Joke of the Day

"What did the horny toad say when designing a sex toy? Ribbit *Credit goes to Brian, random guy sitting next to me on couch."

"Word of warning, if you're in a job interview and you are asked, ""Do you smoke?"" Don't reply with, ""Depends what it is..."""

"If watermelon exist why doesn't earthmelon,firemelon and airmelon? The elemelons."

"I know this may have been posted as it is fairly common, but here it is anyway: What do you call a person who had to be amputated after being attacked by an animal? Claude"

"Vampire who is obsessed with his diet. -Count Calories"

"Welcome to Earth, where we hate each other and put ketchup on everything."

"I freaked out my mailman today when I came to the door completely naked. I'm not sure what shocked him more, my naked body, or the fact that I knew where he lived."

"Trump wants to make America great again, Hilary wants to make America whole again. Together, they can make America a great hole."

"Why does everyone love when a ghost goes to a party? Because he always brings the boos"

"Hey should we dry out these grapes? I don't see a raisin why not."