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Joke of the Day

"How do you know your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood"

"What does a dog get at the vet? [FIXED]"

"[PICKLE] Our first chance to help our new ally! http://www.reddit.com/r/pickle/comments/1a2xg8/next_attack_for_our_entire_army_march_12th_at_520/"

"I hate people who make generalisations. They're all hypocrites."

"If Hillary wins the election, emails be like... [removed]"

"If a Norwegian robot... If a Norwegian robot analyzes a bird, it Scandinavian."

"We woke up to a noise. I grabbed a bat. He grabs a can of body spray. ""Really? Gunna make this burglar irresistible to women huh?"""

"Did you hear about the Irish monster who went to night school to learn to read in the dark?"

"There was this cute girl next to me and I missed a lot of obvious signals... We both ended up dying from the car crash."

"People are like slinkys... ... they're no fun to look at but when you push em down the stairs you cant help but smile."