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Joke of the Day

"I don't like Russian dolls... They're so full of themselves"

"If a man tells you he'll fix it, he will fix it. There is no need to incessantly remind him about it every 5 to 6 months."

"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is..."

"Drug dealers are always late. If your drug dealer is on time, it's the police."

"I would imagine paying your bills at a library in Prague has to be easy. You know, with all of the Czech books and whatnot."

"If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome."

"Good cop: license and registration please Perp: I'm sorry was I speeding Dad Cop: hi sorry was I speeding, I'm dad."

"So my friends played a practical joke on me They gave me a candy bar & told me it was chocolate, but it was actually carob. Fucking carob terrorists!"

"Police nearly apprehended a drug dealer selling cocaine in a tobacco store. They were close, but no cigar."

"If pi is 3.14, then i think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts."