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Joke of the Day
"Velcro.. ..What a rip off."
Next Joke
"Kanye & Kim were discussing their decision to name their child North West They agreed that next time they would fly with Virgin"
"I cracked two jokes earlier about Malaysian Airways. The first got no response and the second crashed and burned."
"Walk into a pawn shop with a ponytail & a handlebar mustache & they treat you like Ray Liotta walking thru that restaurant in Goodfellas"
"DATING TIP: Girls love sensitive guys. Loudly wince when she touches you. Re-apply sunblock 38 times. Bring up how often your gums bleed."
"Cop: ""Sir, what's in the bottle next to you? Me: ""It's water"" Cop: ""Sir, this is wine"" Me: ""What? Jesus! He did it again!"""
"I've been out of work for so long that I've almost forgotten how to hate people."
"My analogies are like vacuums.... They suck."
"Me: Hello darkness my old friend Darkness: please stop calling me that. My name is Susan"
"Did you hear about the suicide bomber that became a Youtube sensation? He never thought he'd blow up like this."