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Joke of the Day

"Apparently sleeping your way to the top, doesn't mean dozing off in meetings or taking naps in the copier room."

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"What did the magician say to the cell? Might I conjure Ya?"
"I had a friend who was right handed but left footed... But he's all right now..."
"The Scots are updating the perception of traditional Scottish fare. Oatmeal porridge will now be known as a Highland Smoothie."
"I don't trust stairs... They're always up to something"
"A dog walks into a bar ""I'll have one ... beer."" Bartender replies ""Why the pause?"" Dog says ""Because I was born with them, asshole."""
"Was watching family feud, I don't think The announcer was N'SYNC"
"""LOOK AT ME, I'M AN ASSHOLE!"" - People in yellow cars."
"I sing in the shower. I think I sound pretty good. The other people in the gym don't agree."
"How do you know when someone is a single mother? Don't worry! They will tell you!"