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Joke of the Day

"Imagine me in bed. Wrong. Wetter. Wrong again. Wetter. Wrong AGAIN! Soaking wet. This leaky roof is gonna cost me a fortune to fix!"

"How many jews can u fit in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and about 6 million in the ashtray. .."

"Sex is a lot like chess. It takes strategy, patience, there's a horse there, the queen is watching."

"Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook."

"why do you never see hippos hiding in trees? cause they're really fuckin' good at it"

"ENTRY-LEVEL JOB OPENING: Minimum 3 years exp required. Must speak 4 languages, have 2 Olympic medals & a reference letter from Barack Obama."

"I was gonna go to the gym today... ... But it didn't work out."

"IKEA made headlines today... ...due to their new range of corduroy pillowcases"

"My wife said she wants a divorce for valentines day. I wasn't planning to spend that much.."

"Anniversary present Wife tells her husband that she wants something that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds. And on their anniversary her husband hands her a scale."