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Joke of the Day

"Women are a lot like heroin. At first you're like, ""Oh geez, this is fun"" then eventually you die."

"I think it's about time Taylor Swift wrote a song and called it ""Maybe I am The Problem""."

"r/jokes this Aprils fools is god damn annoying at least give us a way to turn it off lol."

"[estate planning] Advisor: Have you thought about an end-of-life gift? Me: I'll be dead, that's a big enough gift for everyone"

"Woke up at 5 am. Early to bed early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. Not to mention completely delusional about being healthy, wealthy, and wise."

"Where did the Irish guy get cancer? In his prostatoe."

"Don't blame me. You're the one following a 32 year old man who just jumped into his bed like an Olympic athlete because scary monsters."

"What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leopard!"

"Why don't dinosaurs take ballet lessons? They outgrew their leotards."

"Fine. I'll rush you to the hospital, but then we're doing what I want."