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Joke of the Day

"True story My dad ate whale in Japan but it wasn't on porpoise."

"What's grey? A melted penguin!"

"Life tip: if someone comes out of a bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom."

"I only eat mean animals: shark, crocodile, jerk chicken, etc."

"Why did the witch lose her way? Because her hat was pointing in the wrong direction."

"I am Bill Gates and today, I will be teaching you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

"why wouldn't the black pencil write on the white paper? it was erase-ist"

"Can someone help me, I can't remember,,, Did Sarah Jessica Parker get an Oscar for Sea Biscuit?"

"Why did I break up with my vegan girlfriend? She refused to swallow animal by-products."

"Two scientists walk into a bar The first one says ""I'd like a beer"" And the second says, ""I'd like rum"" They didn't wanna get H20. They were in flint."