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Joke of the Day

"Fatboy Slim announced that he's releasing a monthly cookie delivery service It's called 'Snack My Bitch Up.'"

"Her: (Sigh) How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey? Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!"

"Damn girl are you baking chocolate? Because you're bitter as fuck."

"Jehovah's Witness don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their door"

"It's so cold out, that I don't know who's just wrapping up warm and who's a ninja."

"A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He says ""It seems I can't make any friends. Can you help me you fat slob?"""

"What is the hardest part of twerking? Being black"

"What's the best part about sleeping with a Cubs fan? They're used to disappointment."

"what do you call a jewish pokemon trainer Ash"

"Grim Reaper: You know why I'm here. Me: Heavy drinking? Unhealthy diet? Texting and driving? GR: You should've forwarded that chain email."