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Joke of the Day
"What Type of Fruit Wants to Run Away and Get Married but Isn't Able to? Cantelope."
Next Joke
"''Daddy, i'm gonna shoot Bacon out of the sky'' ''Yeah, when pigs fly''"
"A cop pulled me over and said ""papers"" I said ""scissors, I win!"" and drove off."
"How to taste wine: 1. Slosh. 2. Smell. 3. Slosh. 4. Place ear over glass to hear the flavor. 5. Write short historical fiction starring wine"
"[Playing spin the bottle] ""Ok so Fred has to kiss..."" [Bottle spins out of control, goes back in time & lands at the last supper] ""...Jesus"""
"Did you hear about the TV show with FBI agents and witches? It's called The Hex-Files."
"What's the difference between feminism and Islam? One is demonized by the actions and beliefs of a small minority. The other believes in the wage gap myth."
"I'm a vegetarian and when people say to me ""you know Hitler was also a vegetarian"" it always reminds me how many Jews I've been killing"
"A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells ""You should have been here at 8:30!"" He replies: ""Why? What happened at 8:30?"""
"My jokes should be written on lollipop sticks So you can only see them if you suck as much as they do"