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Joke of the Day

"Me: *empties 4's maracas 4: *shakes maracas* They're broken Me: Oh no.. What happend?"

"I met a Slavic feminist once. She told me to Czech my privilege."

"Looking at a playground, how can you tell which kid is the child of a trombonist? He doesn't know how to use the slide and can't swing."

"Have you seen www.apathy.com? No and quite honestly I can't be bothered."

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking. JK. Rolling"

"Why did the student fail his physics test? He didn't understand the gravity of the situation."

"Me: *being hauled on a stretcher into an ambulance* Shotgun! EMT: dude your gonna die if you si- Driver: dammit Dave, he called shotgun"

"What idiot called him Steve Jobs instead of Mac Daddy"

"Whats the best way to castrate a priest? Kick the alter boy in the chin"

"When someone tells me about a book they've read, I pretentiously say, ""Oh, I don't even own a book."""